Mujhe bhi Credit do!!

I Sincerely Thank

>Abhishake Chawl: for constantly supplying me with blog links to copy stuff from

>SonOfBosey: for inspiring me to copy his style

>CHEATAN BHAGAT: for giving me a topic to write on

>Ciggie, Kichu, Shitty, Langda gulabi, Rough, AnAand Chudee, Achor penDe and Suttesh DeBhai: for having trained me thoroughly in the skill of copying and manipulating

>Prince Uncle: for making every Indian feel that, even he/she can write blogs and there is no age bar to start writing.

Just thought it would be generous and at the same time safe enough to acclaim some names, before any hue and cry from any soul.

Coming to the Blog, got this interesting SMS early in the morning….

“Hirani sir seems to have found a new pastime these days… ‘Cheat-on Bhagat’ “… he he..

With the growing brouhaha around the movie 3 Idiots, I personally feel that the biggest winners here are we, “The Bloggers”. So what if we have found three Idiots in Che(a)tan Bakwas, Raju Hira-nahi and Aila ‘am so self boastingly perfectly perfect’ Khan (hereby referred to as “AK”), they have anyways given us a topic to write on atleast. 3 Idiots has indeed given all us dead bloggers a new lifeline.

Statistics say that 34 percent of total blogs written in India, in the past one week, have been on Che(a)tan’s Bakwas, 29 percent have been on Raju’s Cheat-on’s and 8 percent on how AK can be so discreetly, diplomatically and ‘perfect’ly foolish (how can he say that he hasn’t read FPS and yet say that NowCaste joshila readied a totally different script for 3 Idiots).

Well, as a matter of optimism, there are still around 7% blogs being written on how good/bad the movie 3 Idiots is/was. But the most interesting part is that our dearest Suresh AajMadilla still manages to find space in these blog bites. A shocking 14 % of the blogs are written on the different ways our IOC (Indian Olympics Carnage committee) President has been trying to screw the CWG. Latest blog being on the ‘Tambola’ event that he has planned for the forthcoming CW Games (ref: son of bosey’s blog).

And then, there are these 6-7 percent blogs which are being written with the sole and SOLE purpose of crafting ‘Emotional Atyachar’ on the readers (he he.. hu hu… got a chance to take a dig on a fellow competing blogger.. he he..).

Giving credits, taking credits, crying for credits etc etc have become a trend after the current 3 idiots fiasco. At a recently concluded convocation ceremony at the SDM (Super Demeaned Morons) school of MisManagement, the local hero, Baichung Bhutia (Roll No 88) is believed to have called a press meet after realizing that he hadn’t been given proper credits and recognition by R.No 89, after he got his MBA Certificate (Maha Bekar Aadmi… oh!! Just forgot to mention Rohit Shetty’s name in the credits… will add it in the rolling credits… hope he doesn’t make an issue out of it… anyways, all the best!!) .

“I was with my mom, dad, uncle, aunty, cousin, brother in-law, uncle in-law etc, n everybody felt so bad. He didn’t mention my name even once. He says only 5% of his answer scripts resemble mine.. how can he say that?? Have a look at my scripts and his; more than 75% is similar. He has cheat’on’ed me (another new terminology, dedicated to Cheat’on’ bakwas.. he he).” Said a visibly upset Baichung Bhutia.

“wat?? Is he gone crazy?? Wat 70% is he talking about?? Let it be 100% percent similar, he had signed a non disclosure agreement with me, for which I had given him two packets of cream biscuits and one tin of ginger beer.” RNo 89, seemed to be more furious than baichung when the SSSH reporters asked for his comments. “He is a cheat, not me. I did give rolling credits to him at the end of the last paper. My scripts have been a result of hours of hardwork put in by many individuals. Ciggie, Kichu, shitty, sirdard singh and nivala have contributed more than Baichung, how can he demand so much recognition for himself.”

Just when the verbal duals were moving towards fist fights, a friendly soul erupted, trying to ease the situation a bit. “yeh kiya bolti hui hai tu. Why are you fighting mere piyarre dost jano, Q jagada karti ho?”.. Anu AsRough boli.. sorry sorry.. Anu bola, trying to pacify things between the two parties, in the meantime drawing the entire crowd towards his euphoric and Chatur way of pacifying things.

Coming back to Bombay, there has been a lot of attention drawn towards AK’s statement on knowing what is right, although he didn’t know what was wrong but still pretending to be perfectly serene.

“So what if I haven’t read FPS, I know 3 Idiots hasn’t been copied from it”, said AK, gradually realizing that he hadn’t made any sense, before he finally made some sense by saying, “I took away all credits of 3 Idiots from Sharminda and Muddy, did they complain?? I took away all credit for TZM, without acknowledging Small Gupte.. did he act so stupid?? No body knows who directed Ghajini, as I swayed away with all the honours for making the film, did anybody complain?? Aila, then why so much bakwaas by Che(a)tan Bakwas”

Although, AK’s statements garnered mixed reactions from the reporters, Nitin Gulabi had lots of humorous emotions to deliberate for AK’s first statement. “ha ha, its as good as our TwoBeen Shitty and Prince Uncle saying that they don’t remember when they were born, but are sure that they are 28 years old. Ha ha.” said Gulabi, giggling all the way towards his newly purchased Santro car.

Last heard: Che(a)tan Bhagat, Raju Hira-Nahi and AK seen partying at Thopda’s residence, celebrating the success of 3 Idiots and FPS (Five Point Someone).

Rolling Credits

Special Thanks to Baichung for being a small victim in this otherwise big blog

TwoBeen Shitty guilty of celebrating his 28th bday for the 5th time

In a sad and tragic incident, TwoBeen Shitty of Karkala, invited moral criticism for having celebrated his 28th birthday for the 5th time on the 3rd day of December 2009. He had earlier celebrated his 28th birthday on the same day in 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 too. Although the exact reason for this demeaning act of TwoBeen wasnt known, sources close to him claim his growing attraction towards Pushpa (exact name not disclosed) to be one of the reasons.

A local coffee day attendant, Mr. Vipin Kichu was witness to TwoBeen claiming himself of being 28 years old, when Aveen last dated Pushpa in February 2008.

Mr. Achor PenDe, who has now taken over the post of President of C.A.K.E (Candlemakers Association of Karkala based Enterprises) from Mr. Nitin Gulabi, had some really harsh words to speak against TwoBeen. "He had last bought candles 10 years back.. has been reusing the same again and again.. in the last 5 years alone we have lost the sale of candles by atleast 200 numbers, only because of TwoBeen."

Mr. PenDe sounded very critical at the lack of economic thoughts preceded by TwoBeen, towards the candle makers of Karkala. "how will we earn our bread and butter if TwoBeen continues to celebrate his 30th birthday for the next 20 years" said a proud looking PenDe, who combed his beard for the 28th time in 30 minutes. "i ll keep combing my beard for another 10 times and still claim to have trimmed it only 28 times.. he he.. tit for tat.. he he" quipped PenDe, trying to be humorous yet unattended at.

Although TwoBeen wasnt available for a talk, a close friend of his, Anew Prince Uncle, was available for a quick chat. "hmmm... grrrr... pmmmm... sllll... rrrrrr" said Anew after thinking for 5 minutes. Even after another 10 minutes, Anew was quite unsure of what he actually wanted to say. Finally at the 13th minute, he broke his silence saying, "i can understand how hard it would be for both C.A.K.E and its cutter.. i mean Shitty... i have myself gone through these rigid times when i celebrated my 23rd birthday for the 10th time in 2007" and suddenly he realized having spilled out the truth in front of a gathering of not less than 20 'Sach Sharam Samaan Hai' (SSSH!) journalists. "No No, i was just kidding.. ha ha.. i am just 26.. (smile) (smile). .please please, cut my last sentence" said a profusely sweating Anew. "please dont let Vichitrani know this atleast, Please Please" said an even more profusely sweating Anew.

Shitty still wasn't available for his comments. Meanwhile news coming in from the commissioners home in BTM claims that the Commissioners daughter has gone all levels defending Shitty's act. "what Shitty did was a proud thing and i am totally in his support" said a bold looking Pushpa, who also claimed to be the girl to whom aveen claimed to be of 28 yrs old in 2008 feb. "ya i was the girl, so what. What if Shitty is 28 or if he is 35, i have absolutely no issues with anything. Why should C.A.K.E be bothered of how many candles Shitty has on his CAKE." said a ostensibly supporting Pushpa.

while Pushpa'z and Anew's words may have brought some respite to the Already aged Shitty (if Shitty is aged, what do we call Anew??... more aged.. he he.. hu hu..), Achor PenDe and his C.A.K.E seem to have taken things to the legal level. This is Sagar Sharminda reporting for SSSH! from Sharampur... have a nice and truthful day.