Shahid Afridi accuses Indians of double standards!!

In what is considered to be a new low in the Indo Pakistan relations, Shahid Afridi, captain of the ICC T20 WC winnining captain of Pakistan, has accused Indians of following double standards. This incident happened at a time when Shahid Afridi was celebrating his 19th birthday.

“The cake was really good. It was sweet. The chocolate part was good but vanilla cream wasn’t bad either”, said an ever confused looking Sohail Tanveer, who was actually asked to comment on the fight that erupted at Peela Palace. “Oh! God, main question samajh nahi paaya. Meri ‘Jehniyat’ hi aisi hai ke main questions samajh nahi paata. Ya right, the fight, ya it was also good” replied Tanveer, forcing the SSSH! News correspondent to move towards someone who could actually understand the questions being asked.

“How can he comment on my age, who is he to do so?? These Indians have no integrity and they question mine.” cautioned Afridi, who seemed to have blown up upon being questioned about the 19 candles he had on his cake. “Why should Danish Kaneria be bothered about my age. Last year he created a scene when Hasan Raza was celebrating his 15th birthday, n today he is creating a scene here. These Indians just want to point fingers at us, while they too do the same things back home.” said Afridi, who seemed to have forgotten that kaneria himself was a Pakistani. “what? God!! Chalta hai, all people who point fingers at us are Indians”.

“In India, when 36 year old people celebrate their 30th birthday, it is celebrated by cutting cakes having pics of Hollywood actresses younger than the birthday boy (shown in pic below).. where does the integrity go at that time” said Afridi, referring to Prince Uncles birthday (prince uncle holding the other 29 pics.. not shown in pic).

Meanwhile, Javed Miandad, who too was present at this party has urged the ICC to intervene in this matter and subsequently quell the efforts put in by the Indians. "It's nothing less than humiliation - not only of our cricketers but the whole nation," Miandad, the Pakistan Cricket Board's director of operations, told the SSSH! Press. "Instead of giving permission to private firms to organize birthdays like this, the ICC should take control of such events so that countries like Pakistan do not suffer," Miandad said, before quietly hiding the copy of his speech, but not before a SSSh! Reporter had already identified that it was the same speech he had delivered a couple of months back, when none of the Paki Players were chosen to play for IPL3. Except for that IPL was crossed over to be replaced by Birthday.

Prince Uncle celebrates 100 crushes!!

Coming back to what our posts are actually intended to do, and that is to create humour… for the first time ever, FriskyBeep along with SSSH! presents before your an unique record, whose holder is not just a young 34 year kid, but this bombastically dynamic lad also claims himself to be a blogger.

January 15th, 2009 will go into history books as the day when Mr. Prince Uncle completed a century of crushes. After what started exactly a couple of years back (Prince Uncle was 32 then), when he saw Vichitrani, for the first time, wearing a fluorescent Purple top (with fluorescent yellow spots on it) and a light pink baggy pant, today was the day when Prince Uncle encountered the 100th crush of his life.

"its been a long journey. it would have been very sweeter and merrier had atleast one girl or guy complemented my feelings back" said Prince, who was now dwindling between two extreme feelings (happiness of having 100 crushes and unhappiness for not having converted any of those).

The closest Uncle came was when he had almost converted his chances with TwoBeen Shitty. Back then, Article 377 hadnt received its amendment status and things couldn’t materialize between the two.

TwoBeen Shitty, however is said to have moved on with life, in a STRAIGHT manner, after his Coffee with Pushpa episode. This was the one big thing that prompted Prince Uncle to enter into the life of blogging.

“have found a new soulmate in blogging. Make that 101 crushes”, said a weepily happy Prince Uncle. “Or maybe you can call it 100 crushes and One love” he continued, still denying that he was ever in love with Vichitrani. “That was just a crush, she was in love with me, not me, me in love, never”.

Although prince uncle doesn’t remember his entire crush list accurately, it is believed that his list contained a total of 54 girls and 42 guys.

“hey, that makes it 96, what about the other 4”, a seemingly excited Mapesh Kanada jumped and yelled, having pointed at a very valid discrepancy. Mapesh himself is supposed to be nearing his own milestone of 100 loves. How many girls are there in this list, is a question everybody will be eagerly awaiting to be answered by Mapesh.

This isnt me!!

“I am getting married”, is what she told me. Before I could even fathom the meaning of what Rhea told, I just had those four words ringing in my ears. Before I could even excite myself of giving a new dimension to mine and Rhea’s relationship, it was all over.

It was like I was living the last flashes of my life. My heart kept on urging me to ask Rhea to hold on and keep hopes for some more time.

But guess time had made her too feeble to stand with me any longer. Or maybe even I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to fight it out any longer. I had battled it out against my parents, but to get it through hers, maybe, I required another birth. This is what had started popping up in my mind too.

But then, as it is said, you feel the heat only when you start losing something. And nonetheless, I had started feeling that heat. And it was something that I was not able to muddle through.

A few months back, we had decided to be prepared for any situations, but today, it just wasn’t the way I wanted things to happen. Rhea had become such an addiction in my life that I was just not able to let her go. Like, I have been taught to breathe oxygen all these years and suddenly I am being told to suck hydrogen. It was just not happening. The more I try to get over it, I see myself getting more and more into it.

Is this the end of it, or is this the beginning of things. What we consider as an end has to be the start of something else.

But, why do good things end?? Or does it really matter if one good thing ends, just to give birth to another good one?? Why couldn’t one good thing stick with us all our life??

Thousands of questions in an unsettled mind. Why are we humans like this, howmuchever happy we may be, why do we always miss the happiness our past gave us. We know the meaning of contention and compromise, but why don’t we understand our own satisfaction and concessions.

Mujhe bhi Credit do!!

I Sincerely Thank

>Abhishake Chawl: for constantly supplying me with blog links to copy stuff from

>SonOfBosey: for inspiring me to copy his style

>CHEATAN BHAGAT: for giving me a topic to write on

>Ciggie, Kichu, Shitty, Langda gulabi, Rough, AnAand Chudee, Achor penDe and Suttesh DeBhai: for having trained me thoroughly in the skill of copying and manipulating

>Prince Uncle: for making every Indian feel that, even he/she can write blogs and there is no age bar to start writing.

Just thought it would be generous and at the same time safe enough to acclaim some names, before any hue and cry from any soul.

Coming to the Blog, got this interesting SMS early in the morning….

“Hirani sir seems to have found a new pastime these days… ‘Cheat-on Bhagat’ “… he he..

With the growing brouhaha around the movie 3 Idiots, I personally feel that the biggest winners here are we, “The Bloggers”. So what if we have found three Idiots in Che(a)tan Bakwas, Raju Hira-nahi and Aila ‘am so self boastingly perfectly perfect’ Khan (hereby referred to as “AK”), they have anyways given us a topic to write on atleast. 3 Idiots has indeed given all us dead bloggers a new lifeline.

Statistics say that 34 percent of total blogs written in India, in the past one week, have been on Che(a)tan’s Bakwas, 29 percent have been on Raju’s Cheat-on’s and 8 percent on how AK can be so discreetly, diplomatically and ‘perfect’ly foolish (how can he say that he hasn’t read FPS and yet say that NowCaste joshila readied a totally different script for 3 Idiots).

Well, as a matter of optimism, there are still around 7% blogs being written on how good/bad the movie 3 Idiots is/was. But the most interesting part is that our dearest Suresh AajMadilla still manages to find space in these blog bites. A shocking 14 % of the blogs are written on the different ways our IOC (Indian Olympics Carnage committee) President has been trying to screw the CWG. Latest blog being on the ‘Tambola’ event that he has planned for the forthcoming CW Games (ref: son of bosey’s blog).

And then, there are these 6-7 percent blogs which are being written with the sole and SOLE purpose of crafting ‘Emotional Atyachar’ on the readers (he he.. hu hu… got a chance to take a dig on a fellow competing blogger.. he he..).

Giving credits, taking credits, crying for credits etc etc have become a trend after the current 3 idiots fiasco. At a recently concluded convocation ceremony at the SDM (Super Demeaned Morons) school of MisManagement, the local hero, Baichung Bhutia (Roll No 88) is believed to have called a press meet after realizing that he hadn’t been given proper credits and recognition by R.No 89, after he got his MBA Certificate (Maha Bekar Aadmi… oh!! Just forgot to mention Rohit Shetty’s name in the credits… will add it in the rolling credits… hope he doesn’t make an issue out of it… anyways, all the best!!) .

“I was with my mom, dad, uncle, aunty, cousin, brother in-law, uncle in-law etc, n everybody felt so bad. He didn’t mention my name even once. He says only 5% of his answer scripts resemble mine.. how can he say that?? Have a look at my scripts and his; more than 75% is similar. He has cheat’on’ed me (another new terminology, dedicated to Cheat’on’ bakwas.. he he).” Said a visibly upset Baichung Bhutia.

“wat?? Is he gone crazy?? Wat 70% is he talking about?? Let it be 100% percent similar, he had signed a non disclosure agreement with me, for which I had given him two packets of cream biscuits and one tin of ginger beer.” RNo 89, seemed to be more furious than baichung when the SSSH reporters asked for his comments. “He is a cheat, not me. I did give rolling credits to him at the end of the last paper. My scripts have been a result of hours of hardwork put in by many individuals. Ciggie, Kichu, shitty, sirdard singh and nivala have contributed more than Baichung, how can he demand so much recognition for himself.”

Just when the verbal duals were moving towards fist fights, a friendly soul erupted, trying to ease the situation a bit. “yeh kiya bolti hui hai tu. Why are you fighting mere piyarre dost jano, Q jagada karti ho?”.. Anu AsRough boli.. sorry sorry.. Anu bola, trying to pacify things between the two parties, in the meantime drawing the entire crowd towards his euphoric and Chatur way of pacifying things.

Coming back to Bombay, there has been a lot of attention drawn towards AK’s statement on knowing what is right, although he didn’t know what was wrong but still pretending to be perfectly serene.

“So what if I haven’t read FPS, I know 3 Idiots hasn’t been copied from it”, said AK, gradually realizing that he hadn’t made any sense, before he finally made some sense by saying, “I took away all credits of 3 Idiots from Sharminda and Muddy, did they complain?? I took away all credit for TZM, without acknowledging Small Gupte.. did he act so stupid?? No body knows who directed Ghajini, as I swayed away with all the honours for making the film, did anybody complain?? Aila, then why so much bakwaas by Che(a)tan Bakwas”

Although, AK’s statements garnered mixed reactions from the reporters, Nitin Gulabi had lots of humorous emotions to deliberate for AK’s first statement. “ha ha, its as good as our TwoBeen Shitty and Prince Uncle saying that they don’t remember when they were born, but are sure that they are 28 years old. Ha ha.” said Gulabi, giggling all the way towards his newly purchased Santro car.

Last heard: Che(a)tan Bhagat, Raju Hira-Nahi and AK seen partying at Thopda’s residence, celebrating the success of 3 Idiots and FPS (Five Point Someone).

Rolling Credits

Special Thanks to Baichung for being a small victim in this otherwise big blog